To Chloe..

To Chloe, Mummy would like to say sorry to you. Mummy is bad and do not know how to be a good mummy to you. Whenever you cried with a reason we do not know, especially in the middle of the night, and non-stop, and flare up your temper, Mummy could only think you are very noti and unreasonable, bad thoughts came to my mind, I just wanna run away from all your cries. I want back my freedom, I do not want to be a mummy anymore. I cannot take it anymore, I just felt like I am going into a depression. I am so worried that it will become worst. But no one understand me, not even Mr. He only said everytime I flare up my temper, which I admit I am wrong, just that I cannot control myself. After each such ordeal, I will cry in the dark, blaming myself why I am a bad mummy, why I can't this, why I can't that. I just felt I got no more moral support, consolation, encouragement from Mr, and I just felt alone and being blamed. Where is the love between us, or there is not? But just responsibility between us to bring up Chloe. It just feels terrible and unbearable for me. I do not know how much longer can I hold on, but I know I need.

Chloe, Mummy is sorry and please forgive Mummy if it happens again, Mummy promise I will try to contain my temper.