Photo Blog Beware!!

Since my blog has very little pictures and recently I am so bored that I kept taking her pictures, I shall have a photo blog this time.. from the time she is born till now... See if she has any changes..
I weigh 2.4kg only! Doc and nurses say I am chilli padi!

Look at my big eyes when I am out in the labour ward!

Sleeping soundly in the nursery..

Do I look like a cocoon??

Do I look like Mummy more?


Or Daddy more?

Hiok! Boxing time!!!

Do I pose like Mickey Mouse?

Trying to sing!!!But who understands??


Mummy kept saying I love being traffic police!

So sleepppy...

I love Macarena Dance!

Stay still... Chheeezz..

Smile!

I surrender!!

Ah Bish!! Box myself!

What you looking at?

Are you still taking my pictures?

Feeding time...

Followed by Daddy burping Chloe... Fatherly love..


SOoo.. comfortable sleeping this way.. Like boss..

Huh... Bathing time again..

Can u stop taking my pictures! I am so tired!

Stay tuned for more! My Chloe say she is so tired of posing infront of the camera already!

Nights taking care of little one is getting more out of hand. She is beginning to wake up more in the middle of the night after the first feed at 1am. She will wake up at 4am and after the feed, either she will open her eyes big big or she just want to be carried to sleep. When you put her down, somehow her backside got sensor that can sense the bed and she will start to wail... Really don't know how to handle her sometimes..

And she had this grunting noise she made in the middle of sleep which sometimes startle us, but we guess she is just trying to shit and give out gas, but I think she really does had alot of wind in her stomach which cause her discomfort and ended up she threw temper at us, and even when breastfed her. :( Kept reading articles on how to clear the wind, but is just too common in babies, and only burping might do the trick or maybe give her some Woodward's gripe water which I read on January's Mother and Baby.

Ended up, Mr was late for work cos he took care of little one last night. And he is so tired even tot of taking urgent leave. But I didn't say YES cos I hope the urgent leave would use in a more useful way. But seeing all my other friends, I guess every couple will be this tired taking care of their only little one in the middle of the night which is just parents' responsible. We will tide over this together and baby very soon will grow up and we will actually appreciate and thankful for the effort we put in to see our 'fruits of labour' grow.

Honestly, I really loved to see Mr wake up in the middle of the night to feed little one, and me lying on bed looking at him and little one. Felt very warm looking at this 'scene', feeling a sense of belonging to this family and the little miracle we created. Though this is the hardship period, but I believed the love and care for the little one will tide us over.. and she will grow up to be a pretty little one.. :)

Daddy's N Mummy's Xmas' Wishes

Still being confined at home, Mummy missed going out on a Xmas' eve with Daddy. Looking outside the window, with a bright sunny blue sky which is Mummy's favourite weather and yet she has to be confined at home. But is ok, there is me! with them.. and I will grant them 3 Xmas' wishes...

Daddy's 3 wishes:
1. Chloe growing up healthy and strong.
2. Mummy not so grumpy and no depression.
3. Daddy make 1 million dollar! Lol..

Aiyo.. my daddy's 3rd wish... I guess is everyone's dream I suppose.

Let's see Mummy's 3 wishes:
1. Since Daddy already wished for Chloe, Mummy wish Chloe could call Mummy first when I can say my first word. Lol.
2. Mummy's breastmilk supply don't stop and getting the technique better each time and Chloe's every feed is a happy one and not a grumpy one.
3. Wish to have our own house soon.

And last but not least, Chloe and family wishes everyone a Merry Xmas and A Happy New Year! See ya!

Recently after the previous blog my little princess has become more cranky and cried alot and throw temper alot until I really stress and keep my mind in a whirl. Thinking of foolish things, like just letting her cry and covering my ears or just put her somewhere where I cannot hear her cries. I really guess this is how mums go into depression. Therefore, I kept telling myself I cannot think so much, I must be happy, think of her cries as sing song, and do deep breathing.

Suddenly I feel I am not cut to be a mum, hearing baby cry and I want to shirk responsibility which I think is not the right way. Maybe after all, I am not prepared to be one. I really wondered how my other friends fare. Maybe I should learn how to console a cranky baby. Even when she breastfed for a while she just cry out loud throwing temper.. I really wish I could know what she is trying to tell me... wish she can talk now.. rather than me guessing..

But anyway, I guess I need time and continuous support from Mr. I don't wish to put pressure on him as well kept saying I cannot be a good mum.. I, too, just need loads of consoling and supporting as well.

Now, I guess is the real time to plan what will happen after 3 months when I return back to work.. I don't wish to be separate from my girl..

Surviving the night ordeal

Daddy and Mummy at last survived at least one night of taking care of me and without any people come to save them. Lol.

Daddy took the first half of the shift, feeding me milk and changing diapers from 11pm to 3am. After which, poor mummy have to wake up on and off to see if I am awake cos I made funny noises, stretching noises, etc. I do not know why I made funny noises which at first really scare them and wake them up from their sleep, but now, Daddy is so clever that tells Mummy that is false alarm, and true enough, Mummy now just lie on bed listening to my funny noises until I really cried, then she will rush to me. :(

Babies once you know their behaviour and timing, you will know what they want. For me, if I drink breastmilk, I can last 2 hours and I will ask for more. And if I drink formula milk, the most I can last is about 3-4 hours. So now, Mummy clever, at 11pm she will give me formula milk to make me sleep longer cos formula milk is fuller. Then if I wake up in the middle of the night, she will give me pumped breastmilk. So is like switching one after another.

Another tip, is after rocking or carrying me a little while, and if I give a smile means I am about to fall asleep and I can be put back on the cot. Hehe... So doesn't mean when everytime I smile means I am smiling at the person who is carrying me.

How to determine of babies cries:
Neh: "I'm hungry"
Owh: "I'm sleepy"
Heh: "I'm experiencing discomfort"
Eair: "I have lower gas"
Eh: "I need to burp"

So right now, we are all waiting for one month to come, and we can go out as a family for the very first time. Waiting for the outing with Daddy and Mummy. :) And also all uncles, aunties, sisters and brothers, please keep yourself free on 6 Jan 2007 11am to 3pm for lunch buffet to celebrate me turning one month. Yay!!!

Last Sat been to the baby doc for Chloe's jaundice review. Been praying so hard these days that she will tide over this. Prayers have been answered. Doc congrats us saying baby's jaundice has dropped to 9.9. I heaved a sigh of relief. But doc say these few days will also go up and down.. but as days pass baby's brain will become tolerant and jaundice will go over. And luckily, she can be put back to breastfeeding to maintain the little bonding between us.. During the doc's visit, the clinic was super crowded with couples and their kids.. and same to us as well, this is the first time I felt the feeling of family.. our little small family.. daddy carrying the bag full of baby's stuffs and mummy carrying the baby and 3 of us waiting for the doc to call her name. The feeling is really great...

And today I felt a sense of great achievement, I changed pampers for Chloe without her crying. Usually I always ask Mr to change cos I scared of her cries. But today she was crying like mad, then i tot she cannot be hungry cos she just eaten, so I checked her pampers while my mil was bathing, and she poo-ed. So I changed for her and she quietly lie there for me to change. I felt so happy for the first time!! I wondered what will be the next happy thing will happen to me and Chloe.

Next week is Xmas already.. a yr without xmas but a baby for a present. Hope my parents and relatives will come but I doubt so cos they have their own party at my aunt's place every year and presents exchanging, etc... So is ok, our new small family will celebrate together.. and I will hang Chloe's first present in her Xmas's socks by her cot. :)

And yes! Today I get to bathe and wash my hair! I damn excited lo... it was like u on the run without bathe and no water and damn dirty and when u see water like you see gold... that kind of feeling.. and I put so much shampoo on my hair... LOL... I wonder when will be the next happy time..

Labour day and Confinement Days

I have brought my little precious darling, Chloe Tan, to this world to her own mummy and daddy on 6 Dec 2007 8.48AM. I have to admit she is a really cute little thing with big big eyes, and long eye lashes. Everything of hers are so small, toes, fingers, head, body, cos she is only a 2.4kg baby as she came out early by 2 weeks.

Labour started at 12.30am on 6 Dec 2007, when I started to feel pain in my stomach, cos everyday I was worrying about how pain and how it begins, so it begins, I couldnt sleep I tot I need to shit so I went to shit, came back tried to sleep but not able to the pain is there. I sat there for an hour going in and out of toilet to see got shit ornot or water bag burst but nothing. At last I woke Mr up at 1.30am he started to stare at me with his big eyes when he woke up. I sat there, feeling abit wet there, but very little, but I rem pple telling me is a big gush of water so I am not sure. End up Mr called Hospital and the nurse said COME LA!

Reached there 2.30pm, checked and confirmed labour is happening. So I was sent to the labour ward and waited. Time passed so slow and I kept looking at the clock, and the pain was excruciating, and really unbearable with each contraction until my whole body tried to defy the pain and stretch my whole body to the fullest but no use. The time was only 3am and I was only 1.5cm dilated. My mind was full of EPIDURAL which was not my original plan. So ended up, I asked for air and gas as a pain relief. I sucked the gas and sucked even more, I can felt myself so high like when u are drunk-kind of feeling, but I can still feel the BIG PAIN subconsciously. I couldn't take it for more than half an hour and I asked for epidural. Signed the consent form. The only thing I dun like about epidural was you will keep shaking and shivering, this is one of the side effect. I felt like I was on drugs and kept shivering and Mr was laughing. Soon after, it take some pain off and I fell asleep as doc say need some energy to PUSH later. But of cos during sleep, I can still feel some pain which i think is good also..

Time passed fast when we both fell asleep and soon was 8am, supposingly I can have my breakfast who knows, the nurse came in and say I am ready for delivery! I was suddenly STUNNED and WIDE AWAKE! Soon after they prepared me, and I was there lying legs spread. Dr Tan came and checked on me. And she left, leaving the nurse there, and cos I was on epidural I suddenly cannot feel anything. Then the nurse say OK, contraction coming, husband hold her back and 1, 2, 3 PUSH!!! I was like PUSH until I wanted to vomit and I felt I dunno I push correctly ornot, felt nothing but only my whole face going red. After a few pushes, Dr Tan returned with another nurse and all started to shout 1,2,3 PUSH very loudly! Even Mr also join in. I felt so scared surrounding by all the PUSHES, 2 nurses and 1 Doc. I tried to notice what Dr Tan was doing when I was pushing, I saw her took scissors and I know she is going to do a epistomy for me. And the next push, I can see she put her hands inside and pull baby out. Scary man! Another little push her whole body was out and I can see her, I touched her, and her body was slippery cos of blood and dunno what substance. I drop tear.

The nurses clear the blood off the baby and Mr taking photos while Dr Tan doing the stitches for me. After that I can carry baby and took some photos. The only thing amazed me was her big eyes open wide open staring around whereas I tot babies all will close eyes and sleep or cry. Lol. I didnt regret going for epidural, I will take that again if I have another baby. Is good to restore energy for the PUSHES.

So days of confinement started after staying in the hospital for 2 nights. Mr only managed to stay only one night with me, supposingly not able to stay at all, but the nurse who is on night shift close one eye. But the second night, the night shift nurse was so insistent that Mr has to go home, and gave a lame excuse saying my neighbour bed is a woman and if anything happen the woman can sue Mr for molest etc. Have you ever heard that a nurse will tell a patient's hubby such thing? I find super ridiculous lo.

Can say days of confinement beginning is really hard to get use to it. Imagine during pre-birth, u bathe everyday but during confinement NO WAY! Maybe after 12 days, then u can get to bathe. So now, my hair is very 'shiny' and greasy and oily, face starting to show pimples already. Mr said my hair so 'liang li' then I joke by saying Ya i can go film the Pantene advert already. Hehe. But one thing i never regret is to cut short my hair. Imagine now with long hair... OMG! Yucks! And the other only thing I cant get used to it is to leave all the dishes washing, etc to the confinement auntie cos I was warned not to touch the tap water unnecessarily. But now i already get used, thinking to live like queen lo. Eat already leave there and then go lie down or go to see baby. But thanks to the massage lady that I called her to wrap my tummy, I can bathe 2 days ago but of cos, still cannot wash hair. But better than nothing. Though happy, but the water prepared for me is damn hot, imagine all the mood to bathe also gone so i just bear with the hot water and just pour over me and faster come out of the bathroom. :( Confinement food also quite standard everyday have to eat fish which is good for me and breastmilk I suppose. But bear with it for one month and everything will be over. Yay! I am really looking forward to the day when baby is one month and everyone will be coming and I can bathe happily and eat what I like. Hehe.. Now the breasts started to feel engorge and I dont know what to do and sms my fren. She said must pump out, so I tried and over a few times managed to get hold of the pumping technique. And after, everyday now, it will start to leak every 2-3 hours and I have to pump, I really felt so lazy, to wash after each use and sterilise. Haiz.. How i wish I got many pumps! Haha..

But now, what I wish is mei mei to be healthy and clear off jaundice. While now I am blogging, she is under the phototherapy light as she was detected to have high jaundice. Really make me heart pain when she started to have her first night in there, she cried non stop from 11pm to 5am and I can even hear her cry in my dreams and the echo even when she is not crying. We slept separate room as I cannot sleep in aircon room which the machine needs to have a cooling temperature. Ended up I too soft hearted though was told not to be, told my MIL to let her sleep for the night and continue the next day. And so she is still sleeping in there, and she did cried in the afternoon, and I tried to console talk to her, it only worked for a while but not long. Really make me heart pain and thinking I bring her into this world to make her suffer which I do not want. Of cos, I couldnt bear with it and I cried one night which I control so hard during the day. I really pray that her jaundice will go down this Sat during the blood test. Mei mei and me have to be strong to counter this.

Looking forward... to see her smile on her face again.

Yesterday had my weekly checkup, since is on a weekday therefore Mr not able to go with me but instead my MIL went with me, at least got a companion.

Actually warned her that we have to wait for a long time, and true enough Dr Tan was out for operation and we waited for like nearing to 2 hours before our turn. Always nice to see Dr Tan's smile.

Oh oh my weight gain surprisingly to me as well 2kg which is 60.3kg. Before my turn comes, the nurse ask me to weigh again. No difference but only drop 0.1kg. She said "My dear girl, only a week leh.." But I didn't really eat much recently dunno why..

But good thing is Dr Tan mentioned that baby is 2.9kg and by next week will be 3kg.. Surprisingly she also shot up in weight.. very good.. Also have asked Dr Tan if I am still safe for natural birth due to the bacteria present in me, she said is safe since I will be covered with antibotics during birth. So have to trust doc right...

Right now, though her head is down, but not in engaged position, therefore have to wait for another week plus and doc say luckily I am still working else I got nothing to do LOL! Is really nice to see Dr Tan... though each time visit was wait long, visit short.. haha.. thinking how to make the 3k worth but I got no much questions to ask her as well...

So next checkup again will be a Monday, but this time I am starting my first day of maternity leave! YUPPIE!!